Olympic Boyfriend of the Day
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
I'm late! The games have begun! It's a tie!
...it is time.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Nice Box! (Special Cereal Killer Update)
Olympic Decathlete Bryan Clay made the smart choice and put himself on a box of Wheaties: The Breakfast of Champions! He's been staring me down during my morning breakfasts recently and reminding me to eat healthy meals, exercise, and wear spandex:
Michael Phelps, the man with all the medals, went a different route. He chose to lend his image to a sugar-sweetened breakfast treat that also draws in a stoner on a late night. So how did he hope to spur sales of the product he endorsed: by portraying himself as an Olympic athlete who also gets stoned and needs an occasional munchie-binge on Frosted Flakes. Unfortunately, the folks who make the flakes weren't so amused and gave all his boxes of bong-bouncing-binge-bounty to a local homeless shelter. But Phelpsie... your popularity remains... and the cereal verily flew off the shelf at its bargain basement price of $0. You're still a high-roller! And a high-swimmer... and a high-eater.... and so on...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Olympic Boyfriends should be seen and not heard
"My time was excellent," Kosuke Kitajima said. "This is what I was hoping for and I won with that time. I tried to swim precisely for each stroke and keep a good rhythm," he added. "My performance was perfect and ideal. I would have been baffled if you do not say that was perfect."
Oh well, confidence is an attractive quality.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
So many boyfriends, so little time...
Day 15 - He's here, he's Australian, get used to it!
With encouragement like that (and a horse's head cut off and placed in my bed last night... thanks a lot!) how can I resist welcoming Matt through my revolving door of Olympic paramours. I mean look at him:
Cute, talented, comfortable wearing very little clothing, and willing to spend a lot of time on his hair in between diving rounds -- he's got it all. In fact the only reason I almost passed him by today is because he truly has it all: he already has a boyfriend who has been by his side through all the olympic competition (here he is on FaceBook):
Lucky devils -- both of them!
Matthew is hot, happening, and (although I hate to have to share, but sharing is caring) today I dub thee, Matthew Mitcham, my Olympic Boyfriend of the day.
Day 14 - Today I am a Clay(not Aiken)-mate!
He runs:
He jumps:
He flies:
He can grab a large stick...
...and bend it a whole lot:
He sometimes forgets to wear his shoes:
...and frequently forgets his shirt as well:
For all those skills, and for winning the 2008 Olympic Decathlon, Bryan Clay is my Olympic Boyfriend of the Day.
Sorry... those are the rules.
(but call me later, ok?)
(I bet he could do a mean Colin Powell impression, too:)
Day 12: Where there's smoke, there's friendship
(seriously: is that a McDonald's logo on his shirt???)
But you're not just a medal-winning athlete. When no one was mingling with the Chinese athletes a few years back you persisted and made many acquaintances on the team, and a best friend in Chinese diver Wang Feng. Such a good buddy, actually, that one night (after putting back a few pints with him) you made four burn marks on your arm as part of a friendship pact with Feng. (here's the whole story). You can see the marks on Feng's arm here:
I guess I'm not the first one to see how special you are because somebody else beat me to the punch in making this video that I would have totally made had they not already made it:
Day 11: Truth in Adver-diving
Is this Lance Bass?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Day 10: Oh, Canada
You made up for it by sending this guy, Jared Connaughton, to the Olympics:
No, he hasn't won any medals (yet!) but he certainly serves to distract from the memory of that eight day abstention from victory.
Connaughton hails from New Haven, Prince Edward Island, Canada. He's a track & field athlete representing the land of the maple leaf in the upcoming 200m and will also run the 2nd leg of the 4x100m relay. He's already successfully qualified for the 200m semifinal on Thursday....so don't blame Jared -- Blame Canada! Off the track, Jared is a Law student, and a Cancer, born on the cusp of Leo, making him a sensitive introvert, ambitious, proud, creative, flamboyant, nurturing, traditional, strong, expressive, organized, inspiring, intuitive, cheerful, self-assured, practical, realistic, romantic, social, dependent, passionate, generous, emotional, and today's Olympic Boyfriend of the Day.
(P.S.: why does he need all those upper body muscles to run track? Oh... nevermind, they can stay.)
Monday, August 18, 2008
Day 9: Xiáng went the strings of my heart
Why did I start this blog? Because there was one athlete I was hoping would be my for-real Olympic boyfriend, and I thought I'd mix in all these other hotties to seem less obsessive (although I'm sure that hasn't been the result.) You can imagine the devastation I felt when my cellphone buzzed at 9:05 PM PST with a Breaking News text from NBC Olympics saying Liu Xiang had withdrawn from the games due to injury.This is big news: it's as if Phelps had shown up without his Speedos, or Beckham gave up soccer and took up needlepoint on the eve of the World Cup, or Michael Jordan played baseball instead of....
Anyway, a nation of 1.3 billion supporters wept:Liu, despite the fact that your achilles heel really turned out to be your Achilles Heel, I see your many accomplishments, your good hair, your great looks, your big strong legs, and your charming Coca-Cola commercials and want you to know you are still my choice for Olympic Boyfriend of the Day. Speedy recovery.
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Breathe a heavy thigh of relief...